When Someone Asks if You’re a Princess, You Say “Yes”

My sister once told me I should go out with a particular guy because he would treat me like a princess. She meant that he would spoil and pamper me and put my wants and needs above his own. I responded to the meaning of her sentiment by saying “I don’t want to be treated like a princess, I want to be treated like a human being.”

Many women and girls out there share my sister’s opinion about what it means to be treated like a princess. Some add additional meaning such as being eternally in love (thanks for setting that bar, RomComs) or always being taken care of by a man (which I’m sure we all know gets the most flack for good reason). Yet this definition of being treated like a princess centers on the end of the story, on the wedding bells and feasts and especiallyhappily ever after.”

(more…)

Focus Too Much on a Particular Result and You Lose Focus on the Bigger Picture

Sometimes we’re so focused on a desired outcome that we try to nudge it a little force it and just end up frustrating ourselves. Sometimes, while respecting the fact that we can’t always get what we want the exact minute that we want it, we forget that spending a good amount of time having reasonable expectations will not guarantee that we will be “rewarded” on those occasions when we want a little more than usual. Sometimes we just don’t know how to be satisfied with what we’ve got going on right here, right now.

We want more stuff because we deserve more stuff because we deny ourselves. We want more money because we deserve more money because we never rock the boat by asking for a raise (to be fair, minimum wage is not a wage). We want more time because we deserve more time because we fill all our time with the wants and the needs and the expectations of others.

(more…)

Poisoned Apples: Issues With Meaning

Sometimes it’s hard to believe your creative work matters, or that anything matters. Sometimes we just don’t see the meaning in our work, or in our lives. Sometimes we’re overwhelmed by the work that’s required to do something right, or even just to share our work with others.

Mankind is logical to a fault. We’re constantly seeking out meaning, reasons why things are the way they are. We’re so desperate at times to make sense of things that we’ll even cling to faulty conclusions so long as the logic followed makes for a sturdy enough bridge.

(more…)

Are You Prepared to Help?

It’s hard asking for help. It’s humbling admitting that we aren’t 100% self-sufficient at any given moment day or night. It’s another opportunity to compare ourselves to others, perhaps even denying someone else the help we could so easily give.

We’ve talked about donors here before, right? Those teachers who come along to test us, show us who we are and give us the tools/lessons we need to complete an impending quest. We should always be our own donors first, but surely there’s room to help others.

(more…)

Sometimes Going the Wrong Way is Going the Long Way

Have you ever gotten a tarot reading? Did you go in curious for what future might be revealed for you, or prepared to wage war against a charlatan? I have, and I’ve given plenty of readings myself.

Rule One: There is no such thing as “fortune-telling”. When someone tells you your future, they’re really telling you just how predictable you are. The more they’re right, the more predictable you are.

(more…)

Mirrors Cannot Lie, So We Twist Their Meaning to Fit Our Fears

As children we are taught to “play fair” because “fair is fair” and when something isn’t fair, whether it’s deliberately cruel or arbitrarily ruled, we learn to see that something as broken. Then, somehow the term “fairest of them all” starts getting tossed this way and that, and we’re just supposed to take it to mean physical beauty. Now, that’s not fair.

So what if “fairest of them all” was originally intended to refer to SnowWhite’s physical beauty and the aging-though-still-gorgeous Queen’s envy of it? There is a lot more to be admired about the girl who traveled beyond the seven hills. There is even a great deal to pity with regards to the Queen and her actions.

(more…)